For most writers there is a voice emanating from our brain that appears when we are writing. It says things like "who do you think you are wanting to write" or "you can't do this" or "this makes no sense."

How to deal with this negative copycat personification of you? Imaagine this voice as a person. Now put your arms around this person - or shake their hand - and say "I've got this now," and tell them to walk back to where they have been living in your brain and close the door. They may say "but...but...I want to save you from making a mistake."  You just tell them that mistakes are part of writing and not to worry.

You see in our first draft work all we want to do is get our words/story down on the page - digitally or on paper.  When we go through that first draft we see places we need to fill in, or change scenes, or add details to the story. Or we might want to even put our chapters in a different order.

This is part of the process.  Our negative lodger doesn't know process but you, wonderful writer, are learning about the process and you make your corrections as you go along.

There is no such thing as writer's block there is just too much listening to our negative lodger - just keep going even when the screen seems blank. Begin with these two words: and then...and it never fails to unlock whatever you have been thinking about. Really. It works every time.

Often I am asked, or I see in the attendee's eyes, the doubt that their writing - or writing about their life in their event or their book-length memoir -  matters.

Every voice matters - in memoir writing I believe we have each lived important lives.  Oh. Maybe not headline important (although I have had many in my classes making headlines). You matter to yourself, to your family and friends. Never doubt that the universal and particular things you have experienced matter to a larger audience because they do.  Somewhere someone will read your book and say - wow! I didn't know anyone else went through that sort of thing and survived it ok. You can give hope and power to people you don't even know.

We are a storytelling world. From earliest life on this planet, people evolved telling stories.  I imagine the first stories were about where to find food or shelter, how to avoid predators or danger, who were friends to be trusted and who were not.  How families are created, how illness is helped - or not, how to handle those just born and those who died.

Guess what? Those are the same sort of stories we tell today: how we deal with life's joys, successes, failures, problems, life and death - but in the contemporary parlance of this digital age.  Our lives, our stories do matter.  

First draft writing is always meant to just get it down - the entire manuscript. If it is creative writing you can go through a number of edits to smooth out errors, remove unnecessary scenes or change characters or conflict so all of it seamlessly fits together. In memoir writing it is the same thing - just writing it all down then worry about which scenes stay and which scenes you can leave out. But keep on writing - doubting yourself is a waste of time - if you want to write -  you are a writer. Remember that.

Just like writing a fiction story, in memoir all the friends, family and acquaintances we include in our memoirs become characters.

There are major characters (those who keep appearing in our lives - for better or worse) and minor characters (those who pop in and out of our lives at significant times).

One way to get a grip on the enormous number of people who we have come in contact with during our lifetimes is to categorize them as major and minor characters.  Write down a list of major characters - for now, just write down  4-6 of them.  Then write a list of minor characters - these people who are important, but pop in and out of our lives during times of happiness, conflict or change.

Then rate them - put a plus or minus sign in front of each person - some will have both a plus and a minus and often these people are super significant and need to be included in your memoir.  Then write for five minutes introducing your major characters to each other at a party.

Do the same thing for your minor characters and see where it goes...there...you have begun your memoir writing. Give yourself a pat on the back.